Daughter refuses to attend future family events after discovering she was the only one not invited to the family vacation sister-in-law organized: ‘I was excluded and lied to’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 7, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

No matter how old you are or where you are in life, finding out that you were the only one excluded from a social event is a terrible feeling. It starts when you're a kid, and you find out your friends are having a sleepover without you. It continues on all through high school, struggling with FOMO every time you hear of a social gathering you are not invited to.

And if you thought that you would be free of those feelings when you get older, you will actually be surprised to find out that they do, in fact, only get worse. Every time your friends or your family get together without you, you can't help but wonder if that is how it feels to be completely left behind. You shouldn't even feel bad about admitting that it hurts your feelings, even more than when you were a kid. 

At least, when you are a fully grown adult, you can actually do something about being excluded, and confront who needs to be confronted, which is what happened in the story below when a daughter discovered she was the only one not invited to a family vacation. Keep scrolling to read the full story.

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    via Yogendra Singh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for calling out my mom for lying about a family vacation I was excluded, lied to about, and asked to help for?

    SIL rented a beach house and proceeded to invite all of my siblings and their partners, my nieces and nephews, and my mother. I wasn't invited.
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    They hid the trip from me, but SIL let it slip during a family dinner. When SIL let it slip, my mom lied to me and said it was just my mom and youngest sibling with partner who were going with them.
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    The day they were leaving they missed their ferry boat so they called me for me to help arrange a charter. I helped them. The next day I find out it this was indeed a whole family trip - minus me.
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    It should be noted we all live in the same city, so it's not a situation that I live far away or something. It should also be noted that me and my family are taking a trip at the
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    end of the month, and my SIL invited herself to tag along with her family, and they're going. So it's not a situation where I would think my SIL hates me, but who knows.
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    I got upset and called my mom out for lying. I told her that what they did was My mom kept saying that only 12 people fit in the house SIL rented. I responded.
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    that the decent thing to do, if the intention was for everyone to go, was to find a house that fit us all or to let me know in case I wanted to go so that I could book my
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    own accommodations, and if neither of those two reasonable options were available than for her to go with just her family unit.
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    SIL is very wealthy and often likes to rent huge lavish houses we can't afford to pitch in for, and then just pay for everything. Everyone in my family is doing pretty well
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    financially, just not SIL level wealthy where she'll rent a house for 3 days that's over $30,000.00. I'm not comfortable with this - like why can't we find something
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    we can all pitch in for and afford? But everyone would call me a complainer so I stopped making any comments a long time ago and just offer to pitch in what
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    I can afford. Anyway, I know that for her the whole purpose of the trip was this house she rented, even if it meant I didn't get invited.
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    My SIL likes drama and likes to exclude people as well. One time she planned a yacht trip and invited me and my siblings, minus my mom and
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    my youngest sibling - she was mad at them then. I told her if they weren't invited, that'd create family drama that I wasn't comfortable partaking
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    in and that it would make my mom and youngest sibling feel bad. She said they'd just tell them they didn't fit in the yacht. I thanked her for the invite but if my mom and
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    youngest sibling weren't invited I wasn't going. So then she invited my youngest sibling and disinvited me. My youngest sibling went.
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    via Johnce

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I reminded my mom of the yacht situation and reminded her how upset she was over it. And then just said that it's not a problem, not to invite
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    me to anything else because. my answer will from now one be only no, that they didn't have to worry about only 12 fitting anymore because now they're just 12.
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    My mom apologized and said she shouldn't have gone. I didn't say anything else. AITAH? I don't know if I'm overreacting.
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    TLDR; SIL invited the whole family to a beach vacation but didn't invite me. They lied about who was invited and they were even calling me to help with their trip that I
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    wasn't invited to. When I found out the truth, I called out my mom on me being excluded. The excuse was I didn't fit in the house, so I
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    said they didn't have to worry about me not fitting anymore, as I had no plans to ever attend another family event.
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    Klutzy-Contest-1640 NTA it sounds like your SIL has found a way to weaponise money and the rest of the family pander to her.
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    You understand your SIL and her machinations so it hurts less than your mother lying to you.
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    sog96 Tell your SIL is not invited on your trip at the end of the month. Or you can just make changes to the accommodations and stay. somewhere else. Just forget to tell her.
    via sog96
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    No_Age_4267 NTA your not overreacting your mom lied to your face then had the audacity to call you for help. She is in no way truly sorry just sorry she was caught and please do not help her in the future and another villian is the SIL
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family drama aita kids mother summer siblings reddit story parenting sister in law aunt family daughter Reddit women family vacation parents children vacation
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